


Spirits in my Head

by bonesmctightass



Series: The Venom AU [1]
Category: Star Trek
Genre: Alien Character(s), Almost crying because the sex is so fuckvncnin good, Alternate Universe, Anxiety Attacks, Bones deserves this, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Hand Jobs, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Romance, Sharing a Body, Symbiotic Relationship, Tentacles, Tongues, got a little carried away i promise the porn will be in chapter 9, i mean bones doesn't get railed until chapter 8 that's a slow burn for me, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-05-14 12:48:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19273669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonesmctightass/pseuds/bonesmctightass
Summary: Leonard McCoy shares a body with an alien and tries to figure out how to make it all work.Or, the Star Trek Venom AU





	1. Backstory

Life had been particularly cruel to Leonard McCoy. He used to be a surgeon. A damn good one, at that. And then the divorce happened. He lost his house, his wife. And then he drank so much that he lost his medical license, too. 

 

Then the whole  _ alien invasion  _ thing happened and he found himself with a plus one taking up residence at the back of his skull. And then there was Khan, who was intercepting shipments of cancer medicine so that he could contaminate it and take control of the pharmaceutical industry with his own branding.  Keeping bad medicine off the streets turned out to be pretty exciting. Leonard had done some good work, questionable vigilante superheroing notwithstanding. 

 

He hadn't felt lonely in a while. Not with Spock in his head. Even though he couldn't practice anymore, Leonard got by okay by writing articles for medical journals. The money wasn't bad. The crappy one bedroom apartment wasn't bad either. For once he didn't miss the big house, or his ex wife. Making this… whatever this was with Spock work took up most of his attention. 

 

**Leonard. I require sustenance.**

 

Communicating without actually talking out loud was something Leonard still hadn't gotten the hang of. At least he could reply out loud in the safety of his apartment. When he did that outside people thought he was a nutjob. "Can you wait a bit longer? I'm almost done with this research paper." The heavy weight of Spock's mass materialized on the top of Leonard's head and along the curve of his spine making him hunch to accommodate it. He was warm. It was  _ nice _ . 

 

**We did not partake in the morning meal today, Leonard. I am hungry because** **_you_ ** **are.**

 

That was true. Before Spock crash landed in his chest Leonard hardly ever bothered to look after himself. Now he's got a voice in his head making him eat three square meals a day and do things like  _ sleep _ and  _ shower _ . "Alright, alright. I'm getting up."

 

One thing he'd learned about his symbiote over their time together was that Spock absolutely  _ detested  _ anything artificial. He liked being cooked for and, on occasion, taking over Leonard's body and preparing meals for the both of them. Budgeting for food that was healthy and natural was decidedly difficult and sometimes, sacrifices had to be made. 

 

**Poptarts are not food, Leonard. That is garbage.**

 

"Be happy I'm eating at all. I told you I had a lot of work to do today. I don't have time to make something." He grabbed the box from the pantry and tore it open anyway.

 

**If you put that in our body I will make you throw it up.**

 

Leonard rolled his eyes and plucked a shiny packet from the box of fake pastries. "Threatening me doesn't exactly make me want to drop everything and cook for you." Spock said nothing to that. In fact, he was irritatingly silent as Leonard stood in front of the open pantry, staring hard at the treat in his hand. After several long, drawn out moments Leonard groaned. " _ Fine _ . Christ, you are such a needy Vulcan!"

 

As he stuffed the snack back into the cabinet he could feel thick tendrils winding around his torso. They squeezed just slightly, half melting into his skin beneath his shirt. It wasn't unlike a hug. Spock could get mighty affectionate when he wanted to. 

 

**You are correct. This is a hug.**

 

"You don't have to do that. I know it takes energy to manifest." What Leonard wanted to say was  _ I like it _ , but his mouth wouldn't cooperate. He knew this was just Spock's way of rewarding him for making a good decision. He was well aware of Leonard's predilection for touch. 

 

**You think too hard, Leonard.**

 

Without the wherewithal to unpack that statement, Leonard grunted unintelligibly and placated his partner with an omelette before getting himself back to work. 


	2. Domestic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping is hard.

There was little in life that was quite so labor intensive as grocery shopping, especially when one of the consumers was a ravenous alien. Not only did Leonard have to worry about keeping himself fed, but he also had Spock’s caloric intake to consider. Taking control of their body and maintaining their stature during their nightly aerobics burned a considerable amount of energy. 

 

**I am not** **_ravenous_. That is a gross over-generalization. **

 

“I don’t think you realize how much you make me eat in a day, big guy.” Getting used to the stares he’d often gotten in public was surprisingly easy. Leonard didn’t enjoy being the center of attention and nothing screamed  _ don’t make eye contact  _ quite like an unkempt man in pajama pants who constantly talked to himself. The produce section was their ultimate downfall at every shopping trip. Spock didn’t quite understand why the monetary value of fresh fruits and vegetables was so much more than the junk in the frozen food section. Leonard couldn’t exactly make heads or tails of it himself, but that was beside the point.   

 

**The steak you wanted is on sale this week, Leonard. I suggest we stock up while we are able.**

 

“How do you know what’s one sale?” After grabbing a bulk bag of apples and adding it to the basket he made his way to the meat counter. The cut he’d been eyeing last time was indeed going for a discounted price. Not wanting to miss out on the opportunity, Leonard grabbed three packages and dropped them into the cart. 

 

**While you were engaged in your nighttime repose I took the liberty of perusing the circulars.**

 

Well, how about that. Leonard knew that Spock didn’t require sleep. Sometimes during the day if he was writing or researching, Spock would curl up in one of his organs and enter into a meditative trance to pass the time. He’d never entertained the thought that Spock would busy himself while Leonard was sleeping. 

 

**I do many things while you are incapacitated, Leonard.**

 

Not wanting to think too hard about whatever the hell  _ many things  _ actually entailed, Leonard took his leave of the fresh food department and made a beeline for the cereal aisle. When he was a surgeon he would never have been caught dead even looking at the colorful boxes. But he had pennies to save and two mouths to feed so he couldn’t even muster up the energy to be guilty. Just as he was about to grab Lucky Charms, Spock took hold of their arm and jerked it back. 

 

**That is bad for our body. Perhaps you should try this.**

 

Leonard was about to ask what ‘this’ was when a thin black tentacle snuck out from beneath his sleeve to grab a box of heart healthy cereal. His immediate reaction was to panic and grab at it with both hands. “Have you lost your damn mind? Get back in me!” He hissed and shoved the appendage under his shirt. 

 

**Your cholesterol is quite high. This brand claims to lower it.** Spock seemed completely nonplussed and manifested another tendril to get at what he wanted. 

 

“You know what else needs lowering? My blood pressure!” The box was dropped into the basket Leonard was just barely holding on to. Spock sunk back into his skin and settled in his chest.

 

**I could take care of that for you, Leonard.**

 

He was so damn  _ smug _ . He could practically feel Spock laughing at him. Leonard felt his face flame as an elderly woman a few feet down the aisle stared at him wearily. “If you do that again I swear I’ll evict you.”

 

**No you won’t.**

 

“Just stay in there until we get home, will you?” Leonard whispered harshly as he made his way to the canned items. “Gonna give me a damn heart attack.” Spock remained mercifully silent and stayed where he belonged for the rest of the trip.  


	3. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonard is feeling things. Spock opens up a bit.

Going around stopping tainted medical shipments from deploying and destroying the evidence really wasn’t something Leonard had any business doing. If it weren’t for some misplaced sense of righteousness and a bullheaded desire for the common good, he’d never set foot in any of these places. And if he didn’t have Spock to make him bigger and faster and stronger and _safe_ , he sure as hell wouldn’t have been in the shipyard that night. Even with Khan gone, his operations were still running like clockwork.

 

**I do not like this, Leonard.**

 

“I know, Spock, but we have to get to the crates. This stuff could kill people.” They stood on a nearby rooftop overlooking the bay. Nothing had even happened yet and he could _feel_ his partner’s tension. It was in the stiffness of his spine and a heaviness in the back of his skull. Almost subtle, but definitely there.

 

**You cannot see what I see.**

 

“Okay,” Leonard huffed, “then tell me what you see.”

 

**Three men. All are armed.**

 

It was unsettling. Of course it was. But Leonard was here now and he wouldn’t go back. He’d already turned his back on everything else. He couldn’t let this go, too. “So then we won’t get caught.”

 

They didn’t. Of course they didn’t. Spock enveloped him like liquid latex, careful not to make a sound. They did what they had gone there to do. When all was said and done none of the guards had been alerted. No worse for wear, none the wiser. Still, even though he was fine Leonard felt like his whole body was holding its breath. It was difficult to parse the feelings that were his and the ones that were Spock’s, but he likes to think he’s gotten pretty okay at finding the differences.  

 

 **We are playing a very dangerous game, Leonard.** Spock hissed into his mind, ever vigilant of his host’s thoughts. **It is unwise to take these matters into our own hands.**

 

“Would you have let me get caught?” Leonard asked. The answering **_no_ **came without hesitation. Everything in his body seemed to squeeze just a little. “Would you let them shoot me?”

 

**I would sooner die than let harm come to you.**

 

“Then what are you worried about? You kept me safe, just like y’always do.”

 

The walk back to the apartment building was relatively quiet. Some people were still milling about the streets, even at this ungodly hour of the night. No one so much as gave Leonard a second glance. It was cold but Leonard was so strung out on adrenaline he hardly even noticed.

 

Once they were inside Spock really started to squirm. Leonard sighed and moved over to sit on the couch. “Come out here, will you? I need to talk to you. _Really_ talk to you.” The odd pulling sensation that always came when Spock took shape was still jarring. It felt sort of like being turned inside out. It didn’t scare him, not anymore. He waited patiently with crossed arms while the roiling mass took a humanoid form.

 

Spock was… _handsome_. The stature he chose was broad shouldered and nicely muscled, easy to make out even with the inky black skin. He had pointed ears and oddly expressive unblinking opal eyes with white brows upswept at the edges. Seeing him never failed to make Leonard’s heart hammer in his chest. Was it weird to think his alien tenant was easy on the eyes? He tried not to think too hard about it. Spock stood with his hands clasped behind his back, looking expectant.    

 

“Listen. I screwed up big time, okay? I can’t… I can’t help people the way I used to.” Leonard put his head in his hands and rubbed his face. “Doing this, this thing that we do,” he gestured vaguely between the two of them, “with the chasing the bad guys and saving the day isn’t just for fun. I feel like this is the only thing I can do to be helpful anymore. It gives me a sense of purpose. I know it’s weird and messed up but this is the only way I don’t feel completely useless.”

 

The way Spock was looking down at him, with his furrowed brows and slight frown, should not have been as endearing as it was. **You are not useless, Leonard.**

 

“I knew you’d say that.," he groaned and leaned back into the couch. "I know it doesn’t make any sense. Just consider it another one of my human failings, okay? Let's forget about it and get us fed.” Now that he’d brought it up Leonard had felt pretty damn stupid and sincerely wished he’d just kept his mouth shut. He tried to get up to make for the kitchen but Spock wouldn't let him budge.

 

**Let me recount all of the ways in which you have been useful to a great many people. Your work on the medical journals and the news articles have saved countless lives. Without you, no one would have known about Khan’s misdeeds.**

 

“Come on, Spock. That’s such a copout. Anybody could’ve--”

 

 **I am not finished. Need I also remind you that it was you who uncovered Khan’s plot in the first place?** The same hands that had just ripped open metal shipping containers like they were nothing but tissue paper grabbed onto Leonard’s hands and pressed them into the back of the couch. **And what of me, Leonard? I would have died without you. I asked to have you and you said** **_yes_ ** **. You give me a home, provide me with nutrients, allow me to thrive on this planet. Could just any human do that?**

 

Spock _squeezed_ , holding his hands firmly yet so goddamn gentle that it was devastating. He was staring at Leonard with such naked adoration that it was almost too much. To know that someone looked at him and saw what he was beyond his mistakes was enough to wet his eyes. “I--I, uh. N-no.”

 

 **No. Certainly not.** Apparently satisfied with his claim, Spock crawled into Leonard’s lap and sank back into his chest. **You need not make such careless attempts to prove yourself, Leonard. I am well aware of your worth.**

 

With a quiet exhale, Leonard decided it was in his best interest to take that for what it was. He rose from the couch and headed to the kitchen feeling just a little bit lighter than before.


	4. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get messy.

Nothing about the Vulcan could be described as subtle. He clearly had no qualms about voicing what he did or didn't want. Didn't see a problem with taking over Leonard's limbs and piloting him like a Grecian wooden horse while the rest of the world was completely oblivious. More importantly, if asking didn't work, Spock would simply  _ take _ . 

 

Despite all of this, he was still difficult to read. Leonard couldn't hone in on Spock's thoughts. They were existing in the same body but Leonard didn't have the same all access pass to Spock's. Sometimes, if a feeling was particularly strong, Leonard could identify what his symbiote was experiencing. Beyond those instances he could only guess at what with other was thinking. 

 

Sometimes, though. Sometimes it was painfully obvious. Leonard had been at the local coffee shop that morning working on an article and mooching off the free WiFi. The coffee was good, too. He was so absorbed in his work that he didn't take notice of anything happening around him. But Spock did. 

 

**You are being observed by another patron. Do you know that man?**

 

That certainly gave him pause. Leonard looked up from the screen and locked eyes with the man staring at him. He quickly looked back at his laptop and pretended not to notice. No, he didn't know that guy. Had seen him once or twice at the gym maybe, but didn't  _ know _ him. Spock was growing agitated. Leonard could tell by the way he was starting to cramp in his chest. 

 

**_Please, God, don't make a scene. Will you just behave yourself please? Let me do what I came here to do and then we'll go. I'm safe and_ ** **_fine_ ** **_._ **

 

But Spock apparently wasn't fine. The skin-crawling sensation started full force when the man across the cafe approached Leonard and asked him out for a drink. Completely flustered and wildly unprepared for the strange scenario that someone might find him attractive, Leonard spluttered. 

 

**If you like, I could eat him. Then he will not bother you anymore.**

 

**_Don't you dare!_ **

 

After what could only be described as the world's most uncomfortable interaction, Leonard politely declined and gathered his things. He made a beeline for home and was firm in his resolve not to leave again for the remainder of the day. 

 

**I told you it was inadvisable to go there on a Saturday. There are far too many people out on the weekend.**

 

Even as oblivious as he was, Leonard could tell there was more. More than just a desire to stay in their comfort zone. He could feel it in the way his chest squeezed. Spock was always on guard when they were in public. But this. This was markedly different. 

 

"What are you not saying?" He asked as they ascended the stairs to their floor. Spock was mysteriously silent until the door was unlocked and they were safely inside. 

 

**I did not like it.**

 

That wasn't an incredibly helpful response. Leonard huffed and kicked off his shoes. "Didn't like  _ what _ exactly? Thought you liked the nice chemicals my brain makes when I'm overly emotional." No response came. It was clear that that was all he was going to get out of Spock about the subject. The only thing to do was chalk it up to some cultural alien weirdness and he didn't bring it up again. 

 

The afternoon came and went. Leonard kept busy with his latest medical research and had all but forgotten about the embarrassment of earlier. By the time he was done it was pushing eight o'clock. He tried to check in on Spock without being too obvious. If he concentrated hard enough he could feel tidbits of sensations that weren't his own. Spock was definitely brooding about something. 

 

"Pizza for dinner?" He asked hesitantly. "Vegetarian special? You like that." Without really knowing why Leonard caught himself feeling guilty. 

 

**That would be agreeable, Leonard.**

 

They sat in relative silence on the couch as they waited. Spock was flicking through the channels on the remote with a singular tentacle. Things felt oddly heavy. Even their meal was shared with minimal conversation and Spock seemed generally distant and unfocused. About half way into an episode of Iron Chef, Leonard felt the telltale pulling sensation as Spock manifested a head and torso to his left. 

 

"What's on your mind, big guy?" Leonard asked through a mouthful of pizza. "You've been weirdly quiet today." He was secretly relieved that Spock was ready to discuss whatever it was. Except that when he opened his mouth, it wasn't words that came out. A long tongue spilled out from behind those razor sharp teeth and slid over Leonard's cheek. "What— _ Spock _ . What are you doing?" 

 

**I am scent marking. Clearly the other humans are not aware that you are unavailable.**

 

The absurdity of the statement was so innocent and weirdly endearing that Leonard couldn't hold back a bark of laughter. He felt jittery. Like when he was a teenager about to make out with a girl for the first time. Starting to sweat, he rubbed his palms on his jeans over his thighs. "Oh I am, am I? Says who, huh? Last I checked I was a divorced bachelor." That ridiculous tongue curled around Leonard's chin, dangerously close to his lips. It was warm and rough against his skin. His heart stuttered and tensed.

 

**Yes, Leonard. That was before** **_me_ ** **.**

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Suddenly Leonard was anything but hungry. The slice he was half way through lay forgotten on the couch cushion. He swallowed thickly, eyes squeezing shut as Spock's tongue lathed over his other cheek. Everything was suddenly overwhelming. Too hot, too close, too  _ tight _ .

 

**I had assumed my intentions were obvious but I see now that I was mistaken. You require me to** **_spell it out_ ** **.** Spock paused to curl a hand around Leonard's neck. His grip was loose, just resting there. Firm enough to get Leonard's full attention but slack enough not to hinder his breathing.  **You belong to me, Leonard. You gave me permission to claim you and I intend to keep what is mine. I own you now.**

 

As Leonard stared into those unblinking opal eyes all he could think was,  _ god, he's so fucking right _ . 


	5. Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too much.

As Leonard stared into those unblinking opal eyes all he could think was,  _ god, he's so fucking right _ . Words had completely escaped him so he did the only thing he could do. He opened his mouth. Spock made a noise somewhere between a grunt and a growl as he slid his tongue into the welcoming cavern. And just like that, they were kissing. 

 

It wasn't slow or sweet or even gentle. Spock laid a claim and now he was making good on it. He  _ devoured _ Leonard's mouth. Shoved more of his tongue down his throat than Leonard thought he could even handle. But Spock knew his limits better than he himself did. It was intense and hot and so  _ good _ . All he could do was sit there and take it. Leonard was too stunned to properly participate. He didn't know what to do with his tongue or his hands so he stayed still, tried not to move, didn't want to ruin it. 

 

When Spock had his fill he pulled back but didn't stray far. Leonard's body was lead against the couch, hands limp at his sides and glassy-eyed like he'd just been fucked within an inch of his life. And Spock, the bastard, actually had the gall to smile cheekily at him. 

 

**I am pleased that you finally understand.**

 

Out in the world where it was scary and dark Spock could be terrifying. Hulking mass, sharp teeth, brutal strength. But he'd never shown the Vulcan proclivity for violence unprovoked, and certainly never towards his host. With Leonard he was docile and passive, and achingly gentle. 

 

But why? Doubt settled in like a thick cloud of smoke. He couldn't possibly want this. Everything Spock had learned about humans was from television or Leonard himself. Which, if he was honest, was a terrible blueprint for humanity on the whole. That could mean that Spock was simply acting out of some misplaced notion that this was what he was supposed to do. It was definitely plausible that Spock was exploring for the intrigue of it. For data. Or maybe he was an easy target.

 

**I assure you, Leonard, my mental faculties are independent of yours and I acted on my own will.**

 

"Stop reading my mind, hobgoblin." Leonard flushed and pushed Spock's head out of his breathing space. He had to think. Alone. "Go away for a minute. I need a damn minute."

 

Spock's upswept brows furrowed slightly.  **Very well. One minute.** He was frowning as he lost shape and melted back into Leonard's skin. It was finally quiet.

 

None of this made any sense. Leonard huffed into the stillness of the room. He rubbed his hands over his face and tried to think this through. What reason would Spock even have to like him? Aside from the obvious fact that Leonard was his ride and food source, he couldn't see what else he had to offer. Surely there was a mixup between gratitude and… what? Love? A crush? What did Spock even think this was? 

 

Leonard wasn't even entirely certain what  _ he  _ thought. He liked Spock well enough. Spock kept him healthy and safe. Looked out for him whether there was danger or not. And found his medical knowledge to be fascinating and often asked to be regaled with tales from the operating room in days past. If he really thought about it, Leonard could be honest with himself. He really enjoyed it when Spock stroked his back while they watched TV. Or getting his shoulders rubbed if he was sitting up at his desk too long. And he was especially nice to look at. Maybe he liked Spock more than he wanted to admit.

 

**I have given you your minute, Leonard.**

 

Sometimes he couldn't rightly tell if Spock was being deliberately thick, or if he took things literally just to be annoying. "I'm not… I don't know how to do this. I can't do this." Anxiety tightened around him and squeezed. Leonard's heartbeat quickened and he struggled to move or think or even breathe. It was too much, too fast. He didn't think things through yet. Could they even do this? Was this even possible? How exactly does one even have a romantic relationship with their symbiote? He had to think, had to know more, had to—

 

**Hush, Leonard.** Spock wrapped around his shoulders like a weighted blanket. Tentacles weaved around Leonard's chest and tightened around his waist.  **You think too much. It is not so complicated.**

 

God, he wanted this to be okay. Wanted to be  _ allowed _ to want it. The last time he'd gone through this he ended up divorced and homeless. "I'm not great. I'm selfish. I don't know how to take care of myself. I'm not good at being attentive or present."

 

**I know all of this about you, Leonard. Please get on with your point.**

 

Hands formed in Leonard's clenched fist and slowly coaxed the muscles to go lax. In spite of himself, his body slowly began to sag into the comforting hold. "You'll want to leave. I don't know why you've even stuck with me this long." Voicing his fears out loud was surprisingly painful in a physical sense. It hurt his throat to force the words out, like the edges of the syllables cut into his skin on the way to his mouth. Leonard squeezed his eyes shut and waited for what felt like an eternity for a response. 

 

**I will do no such thing.**

 

Leonard scoffed. He couldn't help it. "You can't possibly promise me that. Don't say things you don't mean, it's cruel." It sounded harsher than he meant but it  _ hurt _ . Hurt to even entertain the thought of being utterly, catastrophically alone. Of opening up again and being rejected in the most intimate ways. He couldn't stomach it. When he opened his eyes his head was tipped back. Spock was staring down at him with such intensity that his stomach turned. Leonard exhaled shakily and tried not to blink, not to miss anything. 

 

**I can because** **_I like you._ **

 

It was so straightforward and simple an answer that Leonard hardly knew how to process it. Could it really be that easy?  **Yes, Leonard. It is that easy.** Spock tipped forward and kissed him feather soft on his forehead. It was  _ devastating _ . Too gentle, much sweeter than he thought he deserved. Leonard shuddered and grabbed Spock's shoulders. He squeezed, leaving shallow imprints of his fingers. Tears were stinging at his eyes for reasons Leonard was far too overwhelmed to think too hard about.  **Peace now. It is not so complicated a thing.**

 

And it wasn't.


	6. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim pays the boys a visit.

**The garlic is going to burn, Leonard. You must stir it.**

 

"Ah, right. Thanks."

 

It had been a week since Leonard's meltdown on the couch. Things between them had normalized again. As much as things can be normal between a human and their symbiote. Spock continued to be overly affectionate whenever the opportunity presented itself and Leonard tried his hardest not to hyperventilate. There was still kissing. A lot of kissing. Things were moving forward slowly but surely. One night, when Leonard was feeling bold, he asked for more. But Spock wouldn't give it to him. **You are not ready** , he said. And he was right. Of course he was right.

 

Leonard was, however, ready to continue their progress. He wanted Spock. And he was okay with wanting Spock. He was even ready to show him off. Tonight was going to be important. Probably the most important night in their relationship so far. Jim was coming over.

 

"How much of the red stuff is supposed to go in the sauce?" He was trying _so hard_. Leonard could barely handle a slice of toast before Spock. But they'd been practicing and Spock was more than happy to take over and show him how to do things. Turned out to be a blessing that there was nothing but Good Eats reruns on television at three in the morning.

 

**Paprika, Leonard. Two teaspoons.**

 

Leonard stopped stirring to peak over at what Spock was doing. He was manifested from the waist up, pouring red wine into the pan to reduce and chopping greens which could have been parsley but Leonard couldn't quite remember. If he hadn't been staring he probably would've missed the way the corners of Spock's lips turned up just slightly as he tasted the ingredients. He felt sort of like a lovesick fool. It seemed so… normal. Like they'd been cooking dinner together for friends their whole lives.

 

**As much as I cherish your attention, I should tell you that your garlic is burning.**

 

"Shit!"

 

Minor culinary disasters aside, everything actually turned out beautifully. Spock had showed him the article he was referencing and the final product looked just like the picture. They made a great team in more than just the vigilante superheroing sense.

 

Now it was time for the second obstacle of the night. Getting dressed. Normally Leonard didn't care much about what he wore. He wasn't trying to impress anybody with his wardrobe so too-worn jeans and a college t-shirt from too many years ago was typically acceptable. But he wanted this to go well. Jim was his best friend and if _he_ didn't accept what Leonard was about to tell him… Then what?

 

 **Not that one,** Spock said as Leonard held up a button down shirt, **much too dressy. Surely Jim will wonder if we are trying to seduce him. Save that for your interview next Thursday.**

 

Leonard tried another option. A simple grey sweater **,** clearly well worn but casual. **No, that will not work. There are holes in that.**

 

"Spock, _you_ put the holes in it."

 

**… I apologize.**

 

It went on like that until they finally settled on a pair of black jeans and a brown knit sweater. He was going to make a last minute decision to shave the scruff on his jaw until Spock had interjected and told him not to because he looked handsome with the facial hair. Leonard was still flushed over the admonition right up until Jim knocked on the door. Spock took that as his cue to disappear for the night

 

 **Remember, Leonard. You must tell him what I am saying. I do not wish to reveal myself. Not tonight. It will be too soon.** Leonard nodded and opened the door.

 

Things were surprisingly easy. Jim had a tendency to do that. Make everything less complicated. He was a good friend to Leonard and had been since college. He'd been there for the ups and downs of Leonard's life. Even the rock bottoms. _Especially_ the rock bottoms.

 

"So when do I get to meet the guy you've been telling me about?" Jim said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. He'd told Jim a lot of things but was still vague enough to throw him off. "You've got quite the spread here, Bones. Is he coming over?" What Leonard wanted to say was _he's already here_ and the words were about to come out until Spock pinched him in the thigh.

 

**Do not be so hasty. Patience. Do it right. Like we discussed.**

 

"Uh, well… That's, uh. That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually."

 

God, he was nervous. There was no good way to say hey, my boyfriend is an alien from outer space who sometimes eats people but is actually really nice and super good at making out! He stuck to the narrative that he'd practiced with Spock and prayed to whatever gods existed that this was going to work out. Leonard began with his mental breakdown in the restaurant when he'd jumped into the lobster tank. Jim paled slightly, vividly remembering the incident. Then he recounted the experience with the MRI, losing control of his limbs, surviving gunshots and car chases and Khan and slid into _there's an alien in my body_ with as much tact as he could muster.

 

The sound of the fork clattering loudly into the plate as Jim dropped it was deafening. "Bones."

 

**Do not be nervous, Leonard. We anticipated this. It will be alright.**

 

"Look, I know how this sounds. I know it's crazy and wildly unbelievable but it's the truth, Jim. You think I'd make this all up just to drive away the one friend I still have?" Despite the comforting words in his head, Leonard was starting to cross over into that paralyzing sort of anxiety that only Spock could cure.

 

"Okay, okay. I believe you, I do," Jim said, holding up his hands placatingly. Leonard was so relieved that he sagged against his chair. Until Jim said, "Show me."

 

"What?"

 

"Show me." He repeated. "Let me see him so I can introduce myself properly. He's been listening to us talk about him this whole time, right? He should come out here and join the conversation. You know, so he can speak for himself."

 

**I do not wish to frighten him with my appearance.**

 

"It's fine, Spock. He can handle it." Leonard was starting to sweat and rolling up his sleeves wasn't going to help. "Come out."

 

**I do not want to.**

 

He knew he was going to have to coax Spock out. That was the only way Jim was going to truly believe him. It was the difference between acceptance and a psych ward committal. "Please. _Please_. Just come out. A little bit, at least. Give him something or he's gonna think I'm insane."

 

**Very well. I will do this, Leonard, but only for you.**

 

Leonard held his breath and Spock slowly pulled himself out. His mass solidified. Formed a head, then shoulders. A torso. Tendrils connected him to Leonard's shoulder. In just a handful of seconds Spock was out. Barred to Jim. He was strong and capable but oh so vulnerable in that moment. Leonard couldn't breathe.

 

**"Hello, Jim."**


	7. Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things could go either way tonight.

****

The screech of the chair against the shitty linoleum made Spock flinch so hard his edges went fuzzy. Jim was standing in front of the table staring wide-eyed at the two in front of him, clearly in disbelief that what he was seeing was actually real. That Leonard actually hadn’t suffered another mental break. It was true and real and right in front of him. Leonard was doing his best to stay calm but Spock was wound so tight he thought he’d snap any second.

 

“Holy shit,” Jim said quietly. He leaned over the table to get a better look. Spock bared his teeth defensively and slunk half way back into Leonard’s body. “Sorry! I’m sorry!” Jim backed up quickly and looked nervously at his friend. “God, those are big teeth.”

 

**This was a mistake, Leonard. He is going to overreact. I want to go back inside.**

 

Leonard laughed tightly. “Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction the first time I met him, too.” He reached up and set his hand against Spock’s cheek, doing his best to soothe. “He’s alright. It’s okay. Jim, could you--uh, could you sit back down? He’s nervous you’re gonna hurt him.” 

 

Jim picked up his fallen chair and sat. He was a good sport and tried his hardest not to look directly at Spock until they were used to each other. Eventually the pressure in the room lessened enough that the three of them were able to relax somewhat. After several minutes that seemed more like an eternity Spock deemed the situation safe enough to re-emerge and stood quietly beside Leonard, touching everywhere that he could while he and Jim had idle conversation about nothing in particular. Then they were ready to try again. 

 

“So, you can hear him all the time? Is he talking to you right now?” Jim had forced himself to continue eating his dinner in an attempt to play at casual. 

 

“He talks in my head mostly. I’m not so good at responding without actually talking out loud but I’m getting better at it. He’s being quiet now because he’s, you know.” He gestured with his fork. “Sussing you out.” 

 

“Ah, the protective type.” Jim grinned. “I respect that.” He tried to address Spock directly this time. “Sorry I freaked out a little before. You just surprised me is all. I wasn’t expecting… all of  _ this _ .”

 

**“I understand that my appearance is off putting to most humans.”** Spock answered politely. 

 

“It’s not that, I just thought Bones was making it up.” Jim sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and looked apologetic. “I think you look cool.”

 

**Surely he does not--**

 

“Trust me, he’s serious,” Leonard laughed. He could see the questioning look on Jim’s face but he apparently decided not to ask. They finished their meal as they talked. Occasionally Spock would join in the conversation when his opinion was relevant. As they sat together Leonard would reach over his shoulder with bits of food to feed to Spock. It was… nice. It felt almost normal. When they finished there wasn’t a morsel left. Leonard could feel the satisfaction in the pit of his stomach that told him Spock was content and had his fill. Jim helped with the washing up, which Spock seemed to appreciate.

 

“Hey, by the way, where’d you get the food? I’d love to get this place to cater at my office.” 

 

“Actually, I made it.” 

 

“Bullshit,” Jim laughed. “That’s way less believable than you carrying an alien around in your skull.”

 

Leonard laughed and threw the wet dishrag at Jim’s face. “It’s the truth! Spock helped but I did most of the work. We’ve been learning a lot of new recipes lately. He saw this one on the Food Network and wanted to give it a go. Not bad, huh?”

 

“You’ve got to explain that to me. Because last time I checked you couldn’t even boil water.” Jim teased. 

 

They finished tidying the kitchen and settled on the couch where the conversation continued well into the night. Things were going much better than Leonard had anticipated. It seemed that Spock and Jim were getting on well now, too. Spock had even let him touch his arm to see what he felt like. He handled Jim’s questions maturely and even engaged in witty banter that Leonard thought was incredibly endearing. 

 

“I like him. He’s a keeper,” Jim declared as he laced up his boots. “This was fun. We’ve got to do it again soon. You guys should come to my place next time!”  

 

When they said their goodbyes it was late but Leonard was jittery. He wasn’t ready to sleep. Couldn’t possibly relax enough to even lay down. He was  _ excited _ . Positively giddy that his best friend and his boyfriend had met and nothing catastrophic happened. 

 

**I assume you are going to want to watch television for a while.**

 

“You know me so well,” Leonard laughed as he sat himself down again. “Hey, uh. Stay out here, will you? I was hoping we could, ah…” He trailed off, hoping Spock would get the gist of what he was asking for. And he did. He always did. Spock was mercifully silent as he slid onto the couch and held his arms open for Leonard to fall into. Even though he asked for it, wanted it, Leonard couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as he turned sideways and laid his head on Spock’s chest. He tried to focus on the TV but he wasn’t really watching it. Instead he was much more engrossed in the feeling of Spock’s bare skin where it touched his. 

 

After about five minutes of stillness Leonard could feel Spock’s hands slide up under his sweater. They were warm, trailing up over his back and leaving a tingling feeling in their wake. It was so difficult to resist the urge to squirm but somehow he managed. “I’m really proud of you, you know,” Leonard’s mouth said without consulting his brain first. “I mean, how you handled everything. You, uh. It was good. Thank you.”

 

**I would do anything you asked of me, Leonard.**

 

“I know you would,” Leonard replied quietly. He closed his eyes to better focus on the feeling of Spock touching him. It was nice. Relaxing, even. If he wanted to he could probably fall asleep like this. But he wasn’t ready for that yet. He was still thrumming with energy from the successful night. With a small smirk Leonard lifted his head to look down at Spock. “What if I asked you for a kiss?” 

 

The look on Spock’s handsome face mirrored the mischief on Leonard’s.  **If you asked then I would give it to you.**

 

“Hmm, that’s interesting. Why do I not have your tongue in my mouth right now, then?” Leonard flushed with the vulgarity of his own words but once he got started he couldn’t stop. Didn’t want to stop.

 

**Because you did not ask.**

 

“You are such an ass sometimes!” Leonard laughed and shoved playfully at Spock’s shoulder. “Okay, fine, you big jerk. Will you give me a kiss?”

 

**Is that really what you want? I am certain I heard you express an interest in something different just now.**

 

“God, you horny alien.” Leonard huffed, face burning with embarrassment. His heart stuttered in his chest. Spock had a hell of knack for making him feel like an inexperienced teenager again. But it was also unbearably good. Hotter than it had any right to be. Leonard turned over onto his stomach, now painfully aware of the tightness in his jeans, and propped up on his elbows. Spock simply stared up at him, looking expectant and much too smug for his own good. He would play this game and he would win it. “Will you put your tongue in my mouth?”

 

**_Yes._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is gonna be straight up monsterfucking porn y'all so strap in


	8. Flashback

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going back to where it all began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know i promised you monsterfuckers some porn but then Tumblr user @weresilver-in-space asked me this and i just couLND'T RESIST 
> 
> Prompt: Hello! This is your resident Spones trash talking. On the venom au, would you be willing to write how Len met his favorite symbionte? Reactions and stuff... I've een dying to know how that went :) Love this au quite a lot!! Have a good day!

Picture this. It's late at night. The kind of late where the only people walking around are drunken street urchins and strangers prowling for a cheap fuck or a hit. Leonard was one such lowly bastard. He'd tried to get Jim to come and get wasted with him but Jim just said, "No way, Bones. Your therapist says I'm an enabler." So he went alone.

 

Leonard wasn't a particularly rowdy drunk. When he'd overstayed his welcome at one bar he'd move on to the next. It wasn't like he had work to keep him sober anymore, so he was content to burn the midnight oil until he was too tired to stand upright. Just as he was walking along to the next block the ground beneath his feet shook so hard he almost fell over. It sounded like a meteor struck in the park at the center of the city. If he'd been in his right mind he would've let it alone and continued on his way. But he wasn't, so he didn't.

 

He couldn't very well walk all the way so he hailed a cab and shoved a fistful of dollar bills through the little window when he was dropped off. It was quiet. Almost deceptively peaceful. Leonard made his way through the thick thatch of woods just at the center of the park, fairly certain he wouldn't find anything but keen on the adventure of it anyway. He was just the right amount of drunk to think he was absolutely invincible. This was probably the most interesting thing to happen to him in a while.

 

And what if he did find something? Like an alien spaceship all smoking and hot from crashing through the Earth's atmosphere. He'd go up to it thinking whatever was in there was probably dead now. And he'd get attacked by a face sucker from the Alien movies and it would lay eggs in his chest and he'd become a fucked up human incubator.

 

"Yeah right," he laughed to himself. And just as he suspected, there wasn't anything to find. Just a crater. Maybe about the length of a minivan. It probably was a rock that broke apart on impact. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten so close, but he didn't really see the harm. And that's about when he closed his eyes. Or, more likely, completely passed out.

 

When he woke up the next morning he was face down on his own bed, still fully dressed and positively _leaking_ alcohol from his pores. His head was pounding and the sun was way too damn bright. Everything from the night before was probably a dream. Leonard rolled himself into the floor and stumbled into the bathroom. God, he looked like a sewer goblin. He should probably take a shower. Had he paid the water bill? He couldn't remember.

 

He decided to just get his teeth brushed and plop himself down on the couch. After about five minutes he was feeling restless. The sudden uncontrollable urge to go for a run was so overwhelming that his body was already moving before he told his brain to do anything. It took him all of ten seconds to be out the door and on the street. He was jogging along the sidewalk without having any real idea of where he was heading and all he could think was, _"this is weird."_

 

**Hungry!**

 

"Jesus!" Leonard stopped dead in his tracks so fast he almost left skidmarks. Had his conscience _always_ sounded like that? Maybe he was still drunk. He rubbed his face hard and continued down the street. A good cup of coffee, that's what he needed. Just a few shots of espresso to sober him up. Surely that would do the trick.

 

The line at the Starbucks was formidable but no moreso than usual. Leonard couldn't stand still. He was fidgeting with his shirt, looking around the cafe, trying to read the menu. Then he spotted the bakery display.

 

 **Want that.** **_Give it to me._ **

 

Suddenly his body propelled forward, knocking him bodily into the woman standing in front of him. Before he even knew what was happening he was climbing over the display and shoving muffins in his mouth.  Wow, he was either really hungry or something was seriously wrong with him. "Sorry, just couldn't wait!" He told the barista who was absolutely mortified. Leonard laughed nervously and dropped a handful of cash over the counter before promptly turning and leaving the premises.

 

"Oh my god, _oh my god_." He couldn't believe he'd just done that. What the hell had come over him? Leonard needed to go home and take something then get right into bed. Maybe he'd feel normal after some sleep. That would do the trick. A nice long sleep, then it was back to business as usual. He certainly wouldn't be visiting a bar anytime soon after this complete mess of an afternoon.

 

When he'd returned to the apartment he went straight into the bathroom to wash his face. Maybe he just wasn't awake yet. That would account for the irrational and impulsive behavior. Leonard felt marginally better after the cold water woke him up a bit until he looked in the mirror. The thing that was staring back at him wasn't his own reflection. It was monstrous. Large and black, big white eyes.

 

With a shriek he stumbled backwards and fell out of the bathroom. This was crazy. Absolutely insane. Should he call someone? _He should probably call someone_. Jim. Jim would know what to do. Fuck, where was his cellphone? Leonard scrambled up onto his knees and lunged for the table next to his bed. He shoved things off of it until he found his phone under a stack of magazines. Just as he was about to unlock it and call for his friend, something jerked him back down onto the floor. The phone dropped out of his hand and skidded under the bed.

 

Leonard scrambled to get over into his back so he could see whatever was in there with him. The thing he saw in the mirror was looming over him. It was _so much bigger_ up close. He wanted to scream but for some reason he couldn't.

 

**Do not be frightened, Leonard.**

 

It was way too late for that. He was scared shitless. Was this how he was going to die? Probably. Did he deserve this? _Probably_ . Leonard was frozen into place, staring up at his captor. Maybe this was some kind of metaphor for the way he'd lived his life. Some kind of weird ass _ghost of Christmas past_ bullshit. No, this was insane.

 

"This isn't real," he said to what he instinctively knew was an empty room. He was probably losing it. Finally lost his mind, completely off his rocker. He definitely needed to be committed.

 

**I assure you, Leonard, I am indisputably real.**

 

"Okay, sure," he said flatly. "How'd you get here without anybody seeing you then?" The creature leaned closer and opened its mouth into a lopsided smile. Leonard flinched hard at the sight of it's indecently sharp teeth and flattened himself to the floor as much as he could without physically becoming part of it.

 

**You found me, Leonard. In the forest. I was weakened by the impact of the crash. I asked to take refuge in your body and you agreed.**

 

Of course he did. Leonard was a fucking idiot. King of the idiots. He brought his hands to his face and rubbed his eyes hard. Okay, _okay_. This was happening. Actually really happening. "What are you gonna do, eat me?"

 

The beast paused as if considering. Seeming to sense Leonard's spike in blood pressure it backed up a fraction. **I will do no such thing. I need a host to survive, Leonard. To kill you would also kill me. The journey here was far and I require rest. Time to heal unencumbered.**

 

"Okay, fine." Was Leonard actually taking this seriously? He supposed he was. "Go back to where you came from, then."

 

**Very well. I shall.**

 

And with that, the alien seemed to liquefy on the spot. It became a puddle of sludge and slid it's mass over Leonard's torso where it seeped into his skin. Leonard bolted upright and practically tore his shirt off. He touched his own skin expecting to find something wrong but it was normal. It looked fine. Did that really just happen?

 

**Yes, Leonard. It happened.**

 

It didn't take a genius to connect the dots here. Clearly this… whatever it was… was using Leonard's body and puppeting him around to get what it wanted. He slowly rose to his feet and gave himself another once over. He didn't _seem_ to be injured. A million questions raced through his mind but the only one he could think to voice was, "How do you know my name, anyway?"

 

**I am inside of your body. I have full access to your brain. I know everything you know.**

 

"Right," Leonard muttered to himself. "Course."

 

* * *

 


	9. Reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wait is over.

They'd been messily making out for ages now. It was hard not to make a mess with Spock's tongue as massive and dextrous as the rest of him. And he wasn't hindered by the need to _breathe_. When Leonard needed a break Spock would slide his tongue over his face, under his chin, down his neck beneath the collar of his sweater. Since Jim left Spock had been teasing him like that. How long ago was that, again? Leonard didn't know. He was too busy feeling completely and utterly owned. And they hadn't even gotten past this part yet. 

 

" _Spock_ ," Leonard gasped when he came up for air again. He was very aware of every inch of his cock right then, straining against the zipper of his jeans. He wanted _more_ but Spock would never give it. Sometimes when they got to this point Spock would turn the TV on and settle in for a cuddle. Other times he'd find himself being ushered into the shower. He hadn't really been allowed to touch Spock for reasons he wasn’t entirely sure of. But this time was apparently going to be different. This time Spock showed no signs of stopping. 

 

**I have no intention of stopping.**

 

He heard the words in his head at the same time that he felt Spock's hands slide higher up his back. They teased at the notches of his spine as they dragged, pulling the fabric with them. Leonard was coaxed to sit upright, and then the sweater was up over his head and hitting the floor somewhere in the kitchen. Leonard's whole body shuddered and flushed right down to the navel. _Jesus, this was really happening_. Those deadly yet devastatingly gentle hands wrapped themselves around Leonard's wrists and pulled. Spock held his arms above Leonard in a firm grip, forcing him to sit up straight.

 

**Oh, my beautiful Leonard. I want to do terrible things to you.**

 

It felt unreasonably good to be restrained up like this. Completely at Spock’s mercy. A series of tentacles formed out of Spock's body and began petting over Leonard's sides, making him squirm against the grip on his wrists. All he could do was take it. And he _wanted_ to take it. He felt so exposed, yet not nearly naked enough.

 

“Take my pants off.” It was supposed to sound firm but came out more like a plea. Spock apparently liked that. He trilled appreciatively as he dragged his tongue over Leonard’s collarbone.

 

**I have been patiently waiting to lay you bare. Be still and let me explore.**

 

That was way more goddamn sensual than it had any right to be. And explore he did. Spock’s appendages roved over Leonard’s body, getting familiar with every dip and curve. They stroked ever higher until they reached his nipples, flicking over the buds until they tightened enough to be plucked. Leonard had never been touched there before but now that Spock was playing with them he didn’t want it to stop. Every pinch went right to his cock. Leonard instinctively tried to curl inwards but Spock was holding his arms so tight he couldn’t budge. 

 

One more tentacle manifested to take the place of Spock’s hands, shifting Leonard’s wrist to pull behind his back. At this angle he was forced to bow his spine to fully expose his chest. Spock’s newly freed digits went right to Leonard’s nipples to better squeeze and pull at them. He thought for a split second about what Spock’s tongue might feel like sliding over the sensitive little nubs. Spock heard it and immediately diverted the sticky muscle from it’s spot behind Leonard’s ear to rub over his chest. It was so fucking long that it could lick over both of his nipples at once, making his pecs slick and hot. 

 

“Spock, _please_.” He couldn’t take it anymore. Leonard was way too turned on, he needed Spock to at least unbutton his jeans for him. “Goddamn it, Spock, take off my pants.”

 

**You’re so pretty like this, Leonard. Desperate for me to give you the release you can’t give yourself.**

 

God, he was right. Leonard couldn’t jerk off with Spock rolling around in his body. It felt too intimate. _Dirty_. He hadn’t gotten to come in ages. It felt like centuries. He wanted it so bad. Wanted Spock to make him, do it for him.    

 

“I’m not pretty.” Leonard argued shakily, trying mightily to contend with proper speech when his body was being so expertly played with.

 

 **You are. Especially** **_here_ ** **.** That wicked tongue and clever fingers tweaked his nipples for emphasis. **So very tempting. I have always wanted to touch.**

 

“Touch me lower,” Leonard pleaded, trying to rub his cock into Spock’s torso. He needed _friction_. 

 

Spock seemed like he was going to comply, dropping his hands to Leonard’s hips. For a moment Leonard breathed a sigh of relief before he realized where those wandering fingers were actually going. They teased along the hem of his jeans, dipped into his navel, touched every bit of skin just above the barrier. Spock was being deliberately cruel, he just knew it. 

 

“Touch me _lower_ ,” he tried again, nearly sobbing in his desperation. 

 

**I am, Leonard. I am doing just what you asked. No need to cry.**

 

Leonard’s brows knit in frustration and he tried again to push his hips into Spock’s hands. The tentacles webbed up and down his arms held fast. He managed only a slight wiggle. Tilting his head back, Leonard wailed, “Touch my cock!”

 

Spock looked enormously pleased with himself. The gorgeous Vulcan popped the button on Leonard’s pants and dragged the zipper down so slowly Leonard was sure he was going to die. Then he was reaching inside, releasing his cock and chuckling darkly at the myriad of _thank_ _yous_ being uttered quietly into the room. Spock immediately extended a finger to rub around the head, spreading the slippery liquid leaking there all over the glans. 

 

This was so much better than anyone Leonard had ever gone to bed with. Spock was so good, knew just how to touch him, knew everything Leonard wanted without having to be told because he could _hear him think it_ . He was barely being touched and already Leonard was shuddering so hard he worried he might shake right apart. Tears were stinging at the corner of his eyes, welled up from overstimulation. It was too much and not enough. Spock was cradling his body at all angles. His clever appendages paid careful attention to every inch of his exposed skin. He wanted to touch. God, he wanted to touch _so bad._    

 

The tension holding Leonard’s body upright suddenly released and he fell forward, barely catching himself in the process. Spock was going to let him participate after all. His body felt so different from a human’s. His alien skin was smooth and warm and so much like liquid latex. It was firm everywhere Leonard’s curious fingers ventured. He slid his palms over Spock’s chest, down his stomach, along the seam where their bodies connected. While Leonard got his fill, Spock continued to drag his fingers up and down his cock. He wondered what Spock’s looked like. 

 

**You will have your fill of it soon enough.**

 

Leonard hunched over to bury his face in Spock’s neck, burning with the shame of being caught conjuring images of alien cock and so hopelessly turned on by it. He was definitely going to come if Spock just tightened his grip. Just a little, that was all he needed. And Spock _did_. Tightened his hand right up, squeezing his cock so thoroughly that Leonard cried out in shock.

 

 **Go on, Leonard. Fuck yourself into my fist. Give me your release.**   

 

It was like a combination of every wet dream Leonard had ever had. Spock sounded like pure sex and it was all Leonard could do not to shoot off right there. He reared up on his knees for better purchase and pushed his hips forward, sliding his cock through the slick tunnel of Spock’s hand. While he carried out Spock’s orders, Spock was anything but idle. He was sucking on Leonard’s neck, using his free hand to grab and squeeze at the soft globes of Leonard’s ass, anything he could do to help get him off. 

 

 **You are so delicious** . He hissed into Leonard’s head, dripping with satisfaction. **Let me taste more of you.**

 

It was over all too soon. Leonard went rigid as his orgasm washed over him. Spock stroked him through it, whispering filthy epithets in his ear as he shuddered and squirmed. Telling him how good he was, how pretty his cries were. Leonard made a mess of Spock’s torso. He wanted to collapse but Spock was holding onto his shoulders, keeping him from falling into the sticky puddle. Apparently he was serious about getting his fill. Leonard’s cock tried valiantly to get hard again as he watched Spock’s tongue lap up the evidence of their passion from his own stomach. 

 

“ _Spock_ ,” he gasped, horrified and embarrassed and maybe a little turned on. He had to cast his glance to the floor while Spock took his sweet time cleaning them up. “God, that’s so--”

 

 **_Delicious_ **.  

 

Evidently pleased with his own handiwork, Spock tucked Leonard safely back into his pants. Leonard fidgeted with Spock’s fingers and tried his hardest not to look flustered. “Don’t you want to…” _have sex?_ He should say it. He should say the words out loud. But Spock didn’t need to hear them. 

 

**You are far too adorable for your own good.**

 

Leonard wanted to protest. Wanted to argue that they should do it proper, that he wasn’t tired, he could go again. But he was disracted by being suddenly lifted and carried the short distance to their bedroom. Spock removed his jeans and changed him into a clean pair of boxers and laid him out in the center of the bed before tucking him in, shutting out the chill of their unheated apartment. Spock settled on top of him, knowing how Leonard liked the weight on his body while he slept. 

 

Leonard relaxed and stared quietly up at the ceiling before finding his voice once more. “Can’t I return the favor at least?”

 

Spock made a noise that sounded like a chuckle. **Not tonight. You have done more than enough for me. I am satisfied, and you are in need of rest.**

 

“In the morning?” Leonard tried, feeling cautiously hopeful and maybe a little relieved. All was quiet again as Spock paused to consider it. 

 

**Perhaps in the morning.**

 

Feeling positively giddy and thoroughly satisfied, Leonard finally closed his eyes and focused on the heat of Spock’s body to lull him to sleep.


	10. Morning

_Perhaps in the morning._

 

That's what Spock had said. They'd have sex in the morning. Real actual _all the way_ sex. Except Leonard jolted awake about ten minutes too late for a meeting at the local coffee shop. They didn't have time for so much as a handjob. Spock was _very_ interested in that particular train of thought. So much so that he tried to stop Leonard from putting on his jeans. 

 

**I can be quick. I only require a minute.**

 

"Is that right," Leonard laughed as he swatted the wandering tentacles away from his hips. "I'm already late, let me put my pants on." Spock relented. Leonard lamented about not having that minute to give. 

 

* * *

 

He was still thinking about what Spock said as he ran down the street to catch the bus. He thought it about it all through his interview and was so distracted that he failed to transcribe the answers to several of his own questions. He thought about it when they were out running their daily errands. And he knew that _Spock_ knew he was thinking about it. Somehow that wasn't as mortifying as it probably should have been.

 

They walked passed an alleyway on their way to the supermarket. Leonard's gaze lingered on it a few seconds too long. God, he was fucking desperate for it. The slow simmer of arousal in his belly was steadily reaching a boiling point. 

 

**You want to make out.**

 

It wasn't a question. Just a simple statement of fact. Not mocking. Not snarky. Merely curious. They had the time. A little bit of privacy on the other side of the dumpster just at the mouth of the street. Leonard eyed it longingly. They couldn't get up to anything else, not out here. But it would take the edge off, even if he couldn't actually get off.  

 

"Yeah." Leonard glanced around. No one was looking his way. So he slipped inside and tucked himself away behind the safety of the trash heap. Away from prying eyes he felt relief. But more importantly, he felt _bold_ . "Come out, _come out_."

 

Spock pulled himself out of Leonard's stomach. The bulk of his shoulders hid Leonard from the rest of the world and it was just the two of them and the brick wall behind his back. 

 

**You are pretty like this.**

 

What he didn't say was _when_ _you're desperate and gagging for it_ but he didn't really have to. Leonard flushed down to his collarbone. "You keep saying that." He reached up and looped his arms around Spock's neck. Even just _this_ felt overwhelmingly intimate. 

 

**What would you have me say?**

 

Spock's mouth was so close. His lips brushed over Leonard's cheek as he spoke. The deep rumble of his voice penetrated his chest and rattled his bones. "I… I don't know." 

 

Anything Spock said was good. It didn't matter what it was. Leonard rocked up on the balls of his feet and sealed their mouths. Spock went rigid for about half a second, like he wasn't expecting that (and maybe he wasn't), before he surged forward and flattened Leonard against the wall. The floodgates were open and Leonard was going to drown in it while he could. 

 

He licked into Spock's mouth and that wicked tongue was right there, waiting to take him apart. The last time he'd seen Spock's tongue it was lapping come off of Leonard's spent cock. The image of it seared into Leonard's brain and came back into focus with such force that his knees went weak. He half expected it to still taste like his own spend, but it didn't. He tasted like the coffee they had for breakfast. Spock pushed more of tongue into Leonard's mouth and forced him to suck on it so he wouldn't drool all over the front of his shirt. 

 

It was both too much and not enough. Leonard knew he was getting hard in his pants. This wouldn't finish him off but it was getting him so goddamn riled up that he thought if Spock would just touch him a little it probably would. He felt around until he found one of Spock's hands and tried to coax it under his shirt. Leonard suddenly found his wrists pinned above his head. 

 

 **If I touch you now I will not be able to stop.**  

 

It was unreasonably hot that he could still talk with his tongue down Leonard's throat. And he sounded just as wrecked, which made things even worse. Their kisses grew more heated and desperate by the second despite their understanding that things would go no further until they were back in the apartment. Every time Spock tried to pull back Leonard would chase his mouth, which definitely wasn't helping.   

 

Spock had to make the executive decision to melt back into his skin before things got too carried away, leaving Leonard frustrated and distraught. Leonard thumped his head back against the wall and rubbed the heel of his palm against his unreasonably hard cock. " _Help_."

 

 **I will take care of you, Leonard. Relax.**  

 

With a sigh of relief, Leonard went soft enough to be able to walk again. 

 

* * *

 

Kissing Spock was damn near a religious experience and something Leonard could see himself doing for the rest of his formerly miserable life. He was still drunk off it when they entered the supermarket. Leonard was just barely getting his feet to move through the isles. Spock was doing most of the grabbing. Leonard didn't really have the wherewithal not to let him. 

 

**Leonard. You are not listening.**

 

"Sorry… What?"

 

 **I asked you what kind of meat you want for dinner.**  

 

What a question. Leonard did his level best to decide on a helpful answer but his upstairs brain was still offline. If he said dick would that be inappropriate? 

 

 **In this context, I would say yes.**  

 

"Whatever's cheapest is fine," Leonard replied quietly whilst trying desperately to disappear into the hood of his jacket. He felt like an inexperienced teenager, which was something he hadn't been in an embarrassing amount of years but somehow still vividly remembered. 

 

 **Leonard.** Spock cooed into his head. Leonard could feel his unoccupied hand suddenly being filled and squeezed. **It is almost over. Patience.**

 

He swallowed. The closer they got to heading home for the day the harder Leonard's heart pounded in his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so antsy. It was like he'd had ten shots of espresso and chased them with a Redbull. His palms were sweating. He forced himself in the direction of the freezer section and tried not to think about anything provocative.

 

Spock took full control so that Leonard wouldn't have to. After they'd filled their basket they ventured to the register to pay for their goods. Now that Leonard had a minute, he could actually take stock of Spock's mental state. The adrenaline was coursing through them so severely that their hands were shaking.

 

Spock seemed to notice Leonard's revelation because he said, **I am nervous.**

 

Leonard's heart skipped several beats, pulse kicking up a few more notches. "What are you nervous about?" 

 

**I fear I will not have it in me to stop if you asked me to.**

 

When the currency was exchanged Spock was so fidgety that he dropped the change onto the conveyor belt. Leonard swelled with adoration so fully that he thought he might actually explode. Spock could be so achingly perfect that it was almost too much to bear.

 

"I'd never tell you to stop."

 

**Are you sure?**

 

Leonard had never been more sure of anything in his life. He'd been sure about it all day. He was sure about it last night. He'd be sure about it tomorrow. 

 

"Take me home and I'll prove it." 


End file.
